Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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