i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Randomize
