i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
