i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The ass gains better be worth it
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