There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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