i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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