So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
