It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
