come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
