what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
