You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
