They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
