I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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