Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
