If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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