Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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