he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
