I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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