4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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