Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
