day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize