dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
