I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
