I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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