How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
