Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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