wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
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The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
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She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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