No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
my liver is dry heaving
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
