You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
