Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you remember whose house we're in?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
