So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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