Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize