you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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