i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
