Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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