PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
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it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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