Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i think i just lost a toe
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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