i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
