I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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