Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize