Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wish my penis had a tongue
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
