I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
