if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
