apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
