I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
