Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize