TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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