Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
