i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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