Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Your penis caused this!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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