so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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