Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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