There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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