belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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