it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.