Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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