The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.