The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
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dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.