we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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