I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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