I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She told me I should be a condom model.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
