My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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