You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
