Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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