It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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