Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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