Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Someone signed my nipple.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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