he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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